Time flies, eh? Feels like it wasn't that long ago when I started this blog and predicted I'd only last a few months before losing all interest. Barring the occasional prolonged period of apathy, I've surprisingly hung in there. Considering my track record of crapness at keeping resolutions, this was pretty good.
Speaking of resolutions, it's now time to make some new ones. Yup, in spite of my traditional lack of celebration, the new year is upon me again - another 12 months in which I'll try to get off my arse, if not get my head out of it. In terms of achievement, 2004 was pretty average, with the highest point probably being graduation. That was in late July, and since then I've more or less been floating in limbo. Not totally unproductive, mind you, but not exactly happy with my predicament - and also not being able to muster the willpower to get my shit together.
What is my problem? Here's a theory I stumbled upon when looking over my final academic transcript: three years ago, I had my best ever semester when I had something (or make that someone) to look forward to whenever I went to campus. Extra special motivation, if you will. Unfortunately that didn't last, and so for the past two and a half years, I've basically been bereft of motivation. Apparently, I need to have someone in my life or thereabouts in order to perform well.
But here's the thing: do women find unmotivated slackers enticing? I suppose not. They want their independent, self-sufficient and successful guys. This puts guys in a bit of a pickle: we want women who'd want to be with us even when we're at our lowest point imaginable and stick with us on the ride upwards. My pickle: I can't seem to go upwards without female motivation.
Which brings me to my resolution: I am going to try and defeat myself. I am going to get my shit together, with or without the sort of motivation I've grown accustomed to. I think I'll be more ambitiously obnoxious in getting what I want, and anyone who doesn't like it will have to deal with it or sod off. 2005 looks like it's going to be a big year for me - time to see if I've got the balls to make the most of it.
