Had a rather salacious dream this morning about someone I've found quite attractive, but never gave much thought to pursuing (not that now would be a good time, as she's recently entered a relationship, it seems). I have no idea why it was that particular someone, especially as it's been months since I last saw her. Anyway, the dream ended on an awkward note, and left me wondering what it all meant.
Well I'll tell you what it meant: it brought on one of those episodes where I feel my life is the epitome of misery. Ah, the single guy blues. Today was one of those days where I found myself in need of quality female companionship but had nowhere to turn to on short notice. There was a wedding I was going to go to (someone from junior high whom I hardly knew), but I changed my mind and ended up going to the Club Store, sitting alone with two large slices of pizza while reading
Journals. This is not the way I want my Saturday night routine to be, but oh well. Besides, I'm not the biggest socialite you'll find, so being alone isn't too big a deal, either. I end up having a lot of time for myself, to think...and lament the fact that I'm alone. D'oh! Must...pre-occupy...mind...
Wednesday, May 5th: No classes today, but was thinking about checking out this music thing on campus. The thinking was short-lived, however, and I spent most of the day in bed instead.
Thursday, May 6th: Was told that there wasn't any classes again in the morning, but since I'd just taken a shower and wasn't feeling like staying at home all day again, I went to campus anyway. Eventually ended up going to QB Books, and after mulling between
According To The Rolling Stones (pros: nice glossy coffee table format I fell in love with when I bought
The Beatles Anthology, cons: the price tag) or
the softcover edition of Kurt Cobain's Journals (pros: cheaper price, cons: basically just a bunch of scribbles).
Ultimately I went with Kurt. Must've been the lower price tag. Having never been a die-hard fan of Nirvana, I could care less if this was a violation of his privacy. Blame "loving widow" Courtney Love for letting his diaries go public in the first place. At least to her credit she had the the good business sense to make a book out of it instead of letting it leak onto the internet, as would have inevitably happened.
Anyway, the softcover edition was a more attractive option than
the hardcover. Besides the more agreeable price, it just fits the contents better: reproducing the cover of one of the notebooks he used as the cover of the book itself was a very nice touch. I'll probably finally listen to that free
Kurt's Choice CD that came with the
NME a few weeks ago, containing tracks based on one of the lists in the book. Personally, I don't know what I aim to gain from the book. Maybe I'm just looking for inspiration, a catalyst that'll enable me to turn the random thoughts and ideas that bounce around my head into something tangible. Or it'll probably turn me into a smack addict with a fondness for firearms. Whichever comes first.
Friday, May 7th: Another day spent at home, sleeping. Must be getting back to the old routine. But as usual, there's lots of work to do, so I guess I'd better not do that thing I always do: getting so freaked out that I freeze up and do absolutely nothing. I know it's not a very professional attitude but somehow I can't stop falling back into the trap. Ah, well: if anything, it's given me decent training when it comes to coming up with excuses...
Wednesday, April 28th: Went to campus specifically to see International Relations' girls basketball team in action after missing the previous matches. Just my luck: the one time I manage to go see the, they end up losing and getting dumped out of the faculty competition, even though they were finalists two years running. Wasn't a total waste, though: took part in IR's Sportsweek, specifically this old school playground game I hadn't played since primary school. Two teams, one team's members take up positions along designated lines that go across and along the field, and are only allowed to travel on those lines, while at the same time preventing the members of the other team from reaching the end of the field and back. Was a hoot, and my team won, to boot. Suddenly I felt like I was 10 years old again...in spirit only, of course. My aging body ached from a lack of recent sports-related activity.
Thursday, April 29th: Was supposed to take part in another one of the Sportsweek games, but it was cancelled due to rain and there was no time to reschedule as it was the penultimate day of proceedings. Went to Aksara Kemang after campus to finally pick up the long-coveted
Blue Album Deluxe. Stuck it in the CD changer and sang along all the way home. Ah, nostalgia.
Friday, April 30th: Last day of Sportsweek. Took part in the tug o' war, but lost. Probably due to better nutrition standards in the younger generation. But ah well, it's the last time I'll be participating, so why not enjoy their company instead of acting like that weird old guy who still hasn't graduated and won't socialise with his juniors because he feels too ancient?
Today was also the third anniversary of Mum's passing. That long ago already? Well I hope she's fine up there in Heaven where she belongs, and that she can see I'm trying hard not to be as big a screw-up as I seem to be.
Saturday, May 1st: After visiting Mum's grave, went to Al-Azhar for a football match that didn't happen. Just had a brief kickabout which ended for me when my breath promptly ran out after about 15 minutes. Gotta get some stamina training done before the tournament.
Went to Daniel's place after getting in touch a few days ago, to chew the fat and catch up on stuff. Hadn't seen him since his surprise birthday party over a year ago. Anyway, the main subject of the evening was a discussion on career possibilities after I graduate. Bar none, the most encouraging talk I've ever had regarding this dreaded subject. Made me realise that having a GPA that sucks isn't the end of the world, at least for me personally. Turns out there are many ways from which I could make a decent living by basically doing what I've been doing for the past three years (which isn't much apart from trying to be creative). Music to my ears. Anyway, that's still a few months off, so I'd best concentrate on getting the hell out of university first - but at least I'll be leaving with an additional boost of confidence as to what awaits for me in the "real" world.
Sunday, May 2nd: To Al-Azhar again, this time to meet up with my classmates to discuss some social projects that've been in the works for a while. I slept through the whole meeting. Apparently my level of social awareness really isn't that high, or maybe I just hadn't got enough sleep. On the way home, picked up The Beach Boys'
Ultimate Christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas, so this was mostly for completion's sake. Plus it was cheaper considering the average price I shelled out per CD when assembling my mighty collection. Anyway, it's a nice listen (well of course it would be. A Radiohead Christmas album would be a such horrible mistake), pleasant enough without instilling a compulsion to hang up a stocking (or failing that, a tube sock).
Got back in time for the Liverpool-Middlesbrough match. My team won thanks to another penalty by Murphy and a goal by the ever-suffering Emile Heskey, and put them in pole position for the fourth Champions League spot. Here's hoping they hold their nerves and win the last two matches.
Monday, May 3rd: Al-Azhar! Again! Third time in a row! That hasn't happened since high school, and that was almost six years ago! I'd probably need the space of a thesis to explain why we still hang out there around twice a week - though I suspect having its own field (useable for football) is a major reason. Anyway, today's match went ahead despite it pouring like heck when I left the house. Apparently Cinere and Kebayoran Baru have separate weather. We won 3-0, and I managed to last the whole match, so I'll be damned if I'm not chuffed.
Tuesday, May 4th: Campus from morning, but for some reason found myself hanging out until about five in the evening, which is something I rarely do. A real scorcher of a day, which usually means that it'll rain later on...and it did. Though fortunately it didn't pour down like two weeks before, and so I was spared from the agony of being stuck for hours in the sodding traffic. A man's gotta count his blessings whenever he finds them.
